men wanted

In a couple of hours, this home will be filled with folks celebrating the arrival of 2006. Susan and Sunhee were lamenting the lack of male attendees. A NYE party lacking available men? What's the point?

Today they asked for my assistance. I haven't lived here in over two years. Who would I invite? But I told them I would see what I can do.

Well, I was, in fact, able to increase the male attendance by two. It appears my lady friends need me here. =)

(Not that I think of my male friends as just a number. I mean, I am really glad you two will be attending. Plus, the odds are still in your favor.)

Happy New Year, everyone!!!

susan's crappy day

Okay, so losing my glasses is no a big deal compared to Susan's day...

It started before 8 a.m. with a loud bang (which woke me up) followed by the sound of a car alarm. The car alarm went off a second time. That's when she decided to look outside and saw that the rear left passenger side door was open.

Someone had broken into Susan's car and ran off with her laptop, the laptop bag, and a (50 lbs.) set of poker chips.

After filing a report with the police, Susan and I decided to keep our original plan of getting our hair trimmed at 10 a.m. After missing our exit and turning around a couple of times, we finally made it to the salon to find that the salon was closed until noon due to an emergency. The haircut would have been nice, but it was not meant to be.

We went to Susan's so she could make some calls to her insurance company, to her boss, etc. After the calls, she was able to find someone who would replace her window for a very reasonable cost. We dropped off her car and enjoyed a nice and pleasant sushi lunch (with an eye-candy sushi chef to boot). Things were looking up.

Just as we entered the shop area, under clear blue skies, something out of the sky fell splat on Susan's face. There on her nose and on her lip was this dark yellow goop. Poor Susan! My face told her everything. I rummaged through my bag and fished out a tissue to wipe the bird poo off her face. She had touched some of it with her hand and said she could smell the stink. =(

We looked up...there were no trees around, no telephone wires, not a bird in the sky...nothing. Why couldn't it have been me? Why did this mystery bird poop have to fall on poor Susan's face?? Why??

Well, the rest of the day went much better. A few of us ladies spent the evening eating Thai food and watching Chronicles of Narnia at the El Capitan theater...it was definitely an experience with all the extras of this landmark Hollywood movie theater...still not so fond of talking animals...I mean, they seem much more normal in the imagination, but seeing them on the big screen? Anyway...

Susan's day started out badly, but at least we were able to end it happily together as friends.

glasses

I lost my glasses here in Austin. =(

Oh, well...it's off to Cali now! =)

don't mess with texas

Yesterday I purchased a 32 ounce fountain drink for only 64 cents. What a steal! Today, we're going to watch King Kong, and it will cost us like $7-8 for a ticket. For lunch we'll enjoy yummy tacos and for dinner we're having us some Texas BBQ. Yeehaw!

I'm trying to convince my bro to take me to an Austin live music venue since Austin has the best live music scene in the country. My other request is for some Tex-Mex...and maybe another 32 ounce drink for only 64 cents. =)

merry christmas!

Happy Birthday, JESUS!

with love from austin

After breezing through self check-in and security, I sat at my gate with an hour left before departure. So far it looked liked smooth sailing. When I had checked-in, however, I was given a seat request ticket...so I figured maybe they had overbooked. And I realized I didn't have a boarding pass for my connecting flight, so I decided to ask the folks at the gate what was going on.

Well, the flight WAS overbooked so they booked me on a direct flight from JFK to Austin which would get me into Austin two hours later. Since my parents were getting in at that time, I figured it would save my bro one trip to the airport. The problem is, I didn't have my brother's current phone number. (I know, I know...)

In short, after a 1 1/2 hour cab ride (voucher from Delta, gratuity not included which the cab driver made sure to emphasize), a long line at ticketing, use of a measley $7 meal voucher, two hours of waiting turning into three hours plus another hour inside the airplane on the ground, a last row seat that didn't lean back for a four hour flight, and I was finally in Austin.

Any attempts at contacting my brother had failed. He came to the airport with my sister and niece wondering where I was. It's a good thing I had changed the greeting on my phone with the new flight info for my brother. Since my flight was delayed, he had to come back after dropping my parents off. So...instead of saving my brother a trip to the airport (twice instead of thrice), he shuttled back and forth a total of four times. Hee.

Anyway, as soon as I saw family, all the hours of inconvenience seemed trivial. It's great to be with family for the holidays. =)

Merry Christmas, everyone!!!!

money-hungry match

How annoying. Match no longer lets you receive email unless you pay. (Receiving email used to be free.) I have three email messages sitting in my Match inbox, but I can't get to them. I hid my profile so I assume it's someone who already contacted me? I emailed any current Match guys with an alternate email address, but I guess they don't pay attention. Annoying.

Bah.

helping the nyc economy

It's absolutely insane how much money NYC is losing because of this dang strike. A lot of little businesses have decided not to open at all because of the loss of business.

I didn't end up going into the city last night. Susan informed me that she would be having an assortment of macarons from Payard shipped to her. I had to do a final Target run before I leave so I did that instead.

My throat is scratchy and I'm feeling a little run down today. I had better not get sick! I'll be religiously consuming Airborne supplements to fight off any illness. I haven't gotten sick yet this season, and I don't want to now!

Although I feel kinda yucky and although there is a chance I may be at work until very late and although Susan got her macarons, I still want to head into NYC during the strike. I want to eat at a NYC restaurant and purchase items in NYC and maybe even take a couple of people to where they need to go. If I had the time, I would go see a show and visit a museum or two. If anyone is able to do so, go and support the NYC economy!

not that these things make Christmas, Christmas...

You know...I think I WILL venture into NYC today. I haven't had my NYC fix in too long...not since I got my navel pierced which was like 10 days ago.

I think it would have been nice to catch last night's performance of Messiah by the Oratorio Society of New York at Carnegie Hall. If I had thought about it yesterday, I would have gone. There are other performances tomorrow night, but by a different (and more amateur) group. Or if I had thought of this earlier in the month, I would have gone to a performance at St. John the Divine...or something. I have never seen the Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall or any performance of the Nutcracker Suite, but personally...I still think Messiah would be more meaningful for the Christmas season.

I haven't even seen the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center this year...not that these things make Christmas, Christmas, but...it would have been nice. Last year we went caroling in the city...on the subways and at Rockefeller Center. Yes, that would have been nice, too.

un-spontaneous

Last night on my way home, I was listening to NPR about how all the Broadway shows were running as scheduled. I thought to myself, "This would be a great night to catch a popular Broadway show!"

I mentioned it to Will and called Deanna to share the idea. She seemed willing to venture into the city with me. Then the question...which show?

As we continued talking, my tiredness began to overtake me. Maybe I'd take a short nap. The idea of driving into the city to catch a show seemed less appealing. Maybe we could go into the city and pick up a couple of things I was hoping to pick up before my trip. We could enjoy dessert at Payard and have a relaxing evening. Oh...and maybe I should go to the gym since I haven't in forever.

Well, in short, NONE of that happened. Instead, after a short nap, Deanna and I found ourselves sipping warm beverages at the local Starbucks down the hill.

So much for being spontaneous.

transit strike

I know this probably sounds really stupid, but on days like this, I REALLY wish I was living and working in Manhattan. I mean, how often does a transit strike occur? The last one was in 1980!

I remember back in 2003 when there was that blackout in the city, I had wished I was there too. =(

Maybe I wouldn't feel this way if I really was living in the city, but...the idea of being together in the great city of New York...facing the challenge together as New Yorkers...I find it so...inspiring. It allows for strangers to make connections, for different people who would never associate with each other to join together. There is something about the collective inconvenience and the shared experience that draws me. I am envious!

Now I realize that the truth is, those New Yorkers who are just getting by and cannot afford to miss work are the ones that are hurting the most. If only there was a way to recreate the bonding and joining together without causing suffering.

I had been planning to stop by the city before I left for my trip since I have some things I would like to pick up for folks. Shall I venture in by car? I'm curious to see what it's like without the subways and buses running. Maybe I can pick up some passengers and help folks get to where they need to go. Hmmmm.

annoyed

Why are there people that piss me off like this? Don't they know if we're not agreeing, it's because I'm right, and they're wrong????

owie

My navel piercing has become a little sore over the past week. It started when I pulled my shirt over the top of my piercing. Ouch! I was warned about taking off clothes, but I didn't think the piercing would catch when I was putting ON my clothes.

Since I was getting used to the piercing, but because it's still a little itchy, I brushed my hand against the piercing in the middle of the night a couple of nights ago. I must have wanted to scratch, instead I caused myself some pain.

Yesterday someone...I dunno if he was trying to be funny...touched my piercing (I hope his hands were bacteria-free!) and slightly pushed down/knocked on the top part which is the sore part of the piercing. Owie!

So, yeah...it's a little red now. =( It took me a while to find a comfortable sleeping position last night. This morning I decided to cover (but not completely close off, cuz I need to give this piercing some air) the top part with a band-aid to keep it from being knocked into again.

project axis

I'm feeling okay today. I feel unfocused though, which has been frustrating.

This evening we'll be having a preview of Project Axis, a new group/ministry that we're forming at Metro. Project Axis is targeting folks in the twenties and thirties, single or married, but for the most part it's for folks who consider themselves young and free (i.e. no kids). The group will be mid-sized and will probably take the feel of a fellowship group with Friday services and lots of hanging out. It's still a project so we'll see what takes shape. I do know that something like this is long overdue, especially since it's been harder to connect with people on Sundays due to facility limitations. (Although we move to our new facility at the start of 2006! Fort Lee Jewish Community Center, here we come!)

As much as I'd like to see this happen, I find myself not as psyched about this whole thing as I should be...maybe I've lowered expectations on purpose. (What happened to the "cheerleader" attitude I used to have in my younger days?) Hopefully this will change by tonight. And I'm hoping after tonight that more people will want to step up and keep things going.

I'm having to remind myself why it is that I do what I do. I find I'm still a little more easily discouraged than I used to be...but I don't ever EVER want to feel that depressing powerlessness again. I still want to hope, to believe...to TRUST in God.

Okay, this is not really going anywhere. Just pray for tonight's Project Axis preview if you can. Thanks!

ovulating

You know, I was thinking after writing my first (of three so far) entry today, that I really should be careful when I'm ovulating. Not that I'm going to become pregnant or anything, but I realized to my horror that I had let that whole kissing thing with that dude happen when I was last ovulating. And the month before that with Kirk, I think the ovulating cycle might have just ended. I'll be ovulating when I visit California.

Ovulation = raging hormones. As if it wasn't bad enough already. Eesh.

There is a mailman who delivers here once a week. He has some sort of crush on me or something. It's kind of cute, actually. He's this Haitian man who comes in smiling and with his accent says, "Where is she? Where is my beautiful friend?" If I happen to be away from my desk, he'll leave me notes to tell me he was here. The next time he sees me he'll tell me how sad he was I wasn't there before and how it makes his day to see me. "Now my day is good because I see you!" Today he wished me a Merry Christmas and kissed my hand. It's not a huge deal or anything, but it was sweet.

Not that the mailman has anything to do with my ovulation cycle, but he just came by and feeling the way I do today, it was just kind of nice.

changing the music

I was just listening to Sarah McLachlan's Song for a Winter's Night, and then I thought to myself, "This is stupid! Why do I do this to myself?!"

I'm listening to Christian music now. I should really listen to Christian music more often. Bah.

a date with God

I am a bit annoyed at myself for being in this emotional funk right now. I'm not quite sure how I got here. Maybe because it's cold and it's the holidays. I dunno.

But I'm trying to be rational. For one, I know I should not be reaching out in any way to members of the opposite sex, not now while I'm feeling emotionally vulnerable/needy. No meeting up with Kirk and no meeting up with the motorcycle guy this evening. This evening, I have decided I need a date with God.

I understand why people say you often meet someone when you least expect it. It's when you're NOT feeling needy and vulnerable that you really are the most ready to meet someone.

It's also dangerous for me to be near the opposite sex when I'm ovulating or when I'm PMS-y. Damn hormones.

I'm looking forward to my date with God this evening. I'm already feeling a little better today.

men. ugh. (part II)

So I originally had a date for yesterday, but it didn't happen. I emailed him to ask what was up, and he said he hadn't heard from me so he didn't think it was going to happen. Huh? So I emailed him back to remind him that he had said he was going to call me over the weekend to set up a time and place. Duh. He then acknowledged it was his mistake. Eesh. Not a great way to start things off.

I just got a wink from a 50 year old man without a photo. I am not going to even bother looking at his profile.

I have only communicated with one Match person without a photo. His reason for not having a photo was that he hadn't transferred his pics to his current computer. Okay. This went on for a while. Then he sent me a email being all shy saying he could email me a picture. I told him to go ahead and do so. I haven't heard from him since.

I had emailed the hot motorcycle guy to ask him why I should hang out with him and to ask him about his story. (I was trying to understand his intentions.) He then explained that he didn't mean to pressure me into seeing him but that he doesn't like to waste time on email and would rather meet with people once in person and see what happens from there. I told him that I understood where he was coming from. He asked if I was free on Thursday. I have tentative plans in the city on Thursday, but at this point, I've decided if I don't go into the city, then I won't meet up with him either, even if he is local. He'll have to wait.

As far as the Korean guy...I did send him an instant message yesterday afternoon to say hello. He obviously wasn't around (or ignoring me). He sent me an email and an instant message last night explaining he was in a meeting. He logged off after sending me the message. *sigh* If I start feeling like I'm suffocating again though, I don't see how it would work.

Ugh.

a case of you

Allow me this moment of vulnerability...

I find myself listening to Diana Krall's "A Case of You" (from her Live in Paris album, a fairly recent acquisition of mine...a recommended album!) pretty regularly these days. The song is a Joni Mithcell original, which I haven't heard yet. Tori Amos also covers this song; she says it's a song she would have liked to have written. Does anyone have a copy of Tori's version? I am curious to hear her interpretation.

Anyway, back to my moment...

I find the song moving and almost hauntingly beautiful. It's a song about a lost love. And it captures well the feeling. Not that it's about a particular person for me, but more like a conglomeration of the feelings I have had. From the second verse and chorus:

I remember that time you told me, you said,
"Love is touching souls"
Surely you touched mine
'Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time
Oh, you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you, darling
Still, I'd be on my feet
I would still be on my feet

Sometime last week, I happened to read an e.e. cummings poem. I wasn't particularly looking to read a romantic poem, but there it was...#92, i carry your heart with me. And unexpectedly, I started to bawl as I read through it. Ugh. I mean, I attribute a good portion of the emotion to PMS. But, anyway...a beautiful poem.

Where am I going with this?

I find myself thinking how I've had enough of this whole "dating" thing...how next year, when I'm 32...I don't want to have to keep searching anymore. The next time I open my heart to someone...I want him to be the last one...and I want him to feel towards me what the poem says.

*sigh* At the same time...I realize...I am still on my feet. It hasn't destroyed me, and it won't destroy me to lose love, not like it once used to...

it's freeeeeeeezing!!

I must admit, now that temps are below freezing, the idea of commuting to NYC for work is MUCH less appealing. I mean, I don't even want to think about switching jobs right now for that reason alone. Sad, huh?

It's freeeeeeeezing!! The high today will only be 27 degrees. =(

Oh, well. It's supposed to warm up ten degrees by Thursday. At least it will be above freezing.

But, man, the cold weather is making me all the more eager for my trip to TX and CA. Warmer temps! Woo-hoo! I am sure I will be tempted not to come back to NJ. *sigh*

men. ugh.

Over the weekend I had gotten two Match winks. On Sunday I checked out both profiles.

The one was a 40-something year old white man. He had a couple of bare-chested (hairy) pics on his profile. Eesh. The second is a 32 year old male...not quite sure of his ethnicity. He rides a motorcycle, and in his pictures he looks totally...HOT. Oh, man, I mean, this guy is cool and everything...at least externally so.

The hot dude sent me an email: "come hangout with me bebe........ i am (name eliminated) live in teaneck. send me your #"

Oh, goodness! Maybe if I was young and foolish. Or if I was just looking for a good time. Dang it! *sigh*

I have a Match date tomorrow with another guy I've recently been emailing. At least, I think I do. He said he was going to call me over the weekend to touch base, but he never did. This would be our first time meeting.

And I am wondering if I should contact the Korean poet guy again. He has been true to his word and given me space. Maybe I should keep my options open??

Options...what options do I have again?

navel piercing

After taking forever to find parking in the East Village, we made our way to Nicky's Sandwiches for some banh mi which I have been craving forever!! (Jennifer's friend is part-owner of the shop and they're planning to expand.) After filling our tummies, we were ready for our piercing when the dude who was supposed to do our piercings rushed in to tell us that he had free studio time and needed to go. Time for plan B.

We were redirected to a tattoo/piercing place in the West Village. After some discussion/haggling with the piercing guy, Jennifer offered to go first for her ear piercing.

OUCH! Maybe I should have gone first. The experience proved to be fairly traumatic. She was in pain and her ears both started to bleed! Maybe she should have just gone to the mall and had them pierce with a gun! Needles are scary! Her ears are still a little red, but hopefully they will be okay.

After watching Jennifer go through what she did, it was MY turn. Yikes! Well, there was no backing out now...even if blood makes me queasy.

It felt like two hard pinches and then it was over. I now have my navel pierced! About five minutes after the piercing, I did feel like I needed to sit down. I was told someone had fainted two days after getting her navel pierced. I suppose the body doesn't like having foreign objects in its system.

A friend of mine had called earlier on Saturday. When I told him I was getting my navel pierced, he misunderstood me. I didn't realize it until later when he asked me which one I was getting pierced or if I was getting both done. Huh? Both? He thought I said "nipple" instead of "navel". Hahahaha! Hmmm...I hear piercings can be addictive. Do you think I'm the addict type?

Strangely enough though, from what I've been reading, the navel is actually more uncomfortable and takes longer to heal than getting your nipple pierced. Who woulda thunk? But, yes, my movement has been more limited. I won't be able to wear anything right around my waist for a while. I even noticed when I eat too much, I end up having to unbutton my pants b/c of the increased pressue. I must have looked quite funny after lunch yesterday. I felt like a middle-aged man who ate too much...jeans unbuttoned and slouched down.

My navel feels much better today. Still a bit restricted in bending movements, but okay. My body is still trying to get used to this foreign object. Well, without further ado, here are some pics. Not quite sexy in work clothes though. Hahaha.


a revealing look at work


close-up

friday snowstorm

I got my workout this morning cleaning the snow off my car and shoveling my car out of the driveway. Whew! I guess it makes up for not going to the gym all week long.

If I didn't absolutely have to be at work, I wouldn't be here. The preschool is closed. I think all the schools in this area are probably closed. There are only two other cars in the church parking lot. They had only cleared two parking spots by the time I got here.

But it's Friday and they need their Sunday bulletin. Bah. Let's see how fast I can get it done!

ack!!

I just got a Match email. All it said was, "I know you, right? You go to Metro church..."

Ack! I've been discovered on Match by someone who has visited Metro! Ack!!

He's a 36 year old white dude with dark hair and a goatee. His face DOES look familiar, but I can't recall if I ever actually met him. Oh, goodness.

Well, my Match subscription ends on Dec. 16. Only a few more days to meet and contact more Match men. Then it'll be time to take a break for the holidays and to enjoy my time in TX and CA! Yay! And then when 2006 rolls around...it'll be a new year and a fresh start...without Match. =)

question

What are you supposed to think when your ex-boyfriend tells you that you should have been born a boy?

living in denial?

Work has been feeling a little chaotic these days. I tell ya. I'm not natural office manager material.

The pastor informed us at the staff meeting that he would like for us to take a test that will inform us of our strengths and help us understand how to work better with each other. It's a test that employers like to have their employees take to better understand what style to use in managing them.

If I take the test, the pastor is going to realize I'm the wrong person for this job. HAHA! I will no longer be able to hide the truth (not that I was really ever hiding it). That may be a great time to bring up transitioning out of this job...

In other news...I've been toying with the idea of a navel ring for about a decade, I'm sure. I've toyed with the idea of a tattoo for even longer. Jennifer wanted to get her ears pierced so we talked about making it a joint venture. It turns out Jennifer's close friend has a close friend who owns a tattoo/piercing place and will give us a deal. I should have my navel pierced (and maybe more?? heehee.) by this weekend! Heehee. I'll also see how possible it will be to design a particular tattoo that I've been wanting forever. I know, I'm over 30 and too old for all this, right? I'm in such denial. =P

one day weekend

My work day on Saturday went by fairly quickly. The Concert was BEAUTIFUL! The boys in the Newark Boys Chorus were so adorable! Did I tell you I think little black boys are the cutest? I think little Asian girls are the cutest, too. I mean, ALL little kids are adorable, but I seem to favor little black boys and little Asian girls for some reason. And, please, no comments about my "flava" preference!

The Italian tenor would strut on stage as he performed. The Broadway soprano was more down-to-earth...cute, actually. She made a couple of comments and giggled at one point. The whole performance...from the choirs, the soloists, the chamber orchestra to audience participation on a couple of carols...really put me in a festive holiday spirit. Yay!

On Sunday morning, I was surprised to wake up to snow! Yay!

Sunday was a full day of church, lunch, meeting, and then a dinner meeting at the home of one of our Hispanic Metro families. It was the most AMAZING home I have ever seen! I found it inspiring, actually. If only I could create a home where that much thought has been put into the details. There were like 8 completed bedrooms (with I think two more to be done), at least 8 bathrooms, huge walk-in closets, the master bedroom with his and her bathrooms and a programmable shower/sauna, a library, a billiards area, a future theater room, a future sauna room, a future exercise room, and high ceilings. It's also a "smart" house. Crazy, huh? But even more than that, it was GREAT to hear from different members of our church family. It was a wonderful night!

This morning I woke up to a somewhat chilly and drafty room. Sadly, it was already Monday morning. As I left the house, I was careful not to slip on the pavement covered with ice from yesterday's half-melted snow. They're expecting more snow this evening. I think one little snowfall was all I needed. I already wish winter was over. =(

relationships...

It's been a busy week, I haven't had time to blog...and now that I have a little bit of breathing room...

Wow...so much on my mind, and in some way, shape, or form, all the thoughts are basically about relationships and about how they affect us and in turn affects others.

There have been happy news. (Congrats, you two!) There have been not-so-happy news. There have been up-in-the air news. And in each incident, I wonder about my friends...how they are doing. When they're happy, I'm happy. When they're conflicted, I feel the pain and the struggle too. I think about my friends who give so much to the ones they care for, only to be given far less than what they deserve. (This happens far too often!) My heart goes out to them because I know how they feel, and I am sad because of how it harms them. (It doesn't have to!)

And, well, yes...I think about myself too.

I think about how I have been affected by the past. I wonder if my choices are based on what I have gained and learned or on what I fear based on the past. (Does that make sense? Cuz I think those two are different, but not always so easy to distinguish.) I feel terrible...because I hurt someone last night. I didn't mean to, of course, and hopefully, the hurt will pass quickly.

It's weird...on the one hand, I would really like to get married...and I think it would be nice if it were possible while I am 32...but it's not this anxious kind of thing. Because on the other hand, I'm quite happy these days being single and unattached. I've enjoyed the sense of freedom, more than I have in a long, long time. I want to make the right choices, even if that choice leaves me with no one. But the wrong choices can leave me with no one too.

I had made it clear to him that I wanted to date for three months before anything exclusive. And, yes, I was warming up to him. And, yes, kissing him on our fourth date was more than just a peck on the lips. But I began to question if I should have let that happen. I was feeling a little stressed. I didn't want to think of it as a mistake...but I was afraid of how I might have just complicated things. And maybe he wouldn't have been as hurt if I hadn't.

He hasn't been directly pressuring me, and for that I'm appreciative. But...I WAS feeling stressed...by being in contact with him in some shape or form every day and knowing that things were exclusive on his end, I was feeling pressured. Well, at the end of our date last night, he told me to contact him when I wanted to do so. He was in a hurry to leave after that.

*sigh* We'll see how I feel about things in a few days.

hot italian tenor...heehee

Okay, I promise I will write a substantial blog entry once I have the time! It's been a busy, busy week. Work has been interfering with my life! Haha. I haven't had a chance to blog my thoughts. *sigh*

Here's info about the Concert at this church on Saturday. I'll be working all day long because of this thing. Oh, well. At least the tenor is a hottie! There's something about a hot Italian tenor who can't speak English. Heehee. I need to learn some Italian...like NOW! =)

Until my next blog entry!


come to the concert and check out the hot italian hunk =P