It rained all day yesterday, and it will rain all day today. I forgot how much the rain can affect your mood.

In the beginning, it was kind of nice. The light rain didn't keep us from making it down to Princeton and from walking around the campuses and the surrounding town. But by mid-afternoon Sara and I were getting cold, so we decided it was time to head back north. Traffic was miserable. The sky was gloomy. The rain was constant. We made plans to stop at a gym, but our two attempts to find a location failed miserably. Both of us had headaches, and we were getting cranky.

And today is another rainy day. I think I may be coming down with something. I will do nothing but rest today in order to fend off any illness. The past week was busy and hectic...it was good, but hectic.

Oh, I want California sun! But, alas, I will not have California sun for yet a few more days. I re-booked my flight, and I will be flying in on Monday night. *sigh*

So...I decided to stay and go fishing. I talked it through with a couple of my friends and came to the conclusion that it would be better to leave with a more solidified personal opinion on this whole set-up situation. Otherwise, it will still be hanging over my head. I just hope the fishing trip is not complete misery for me. Lots of Dramamine for wumanjoo!

Yesterday, I joined Peter and Jenny and their extended families for Christina's first birthday celebration. It was a bit odd being part of a family affair, but everyone was warm and welcoming and by the end of the night, some of the kids were even calling me e-mo (aunt). Today and tomorrow, I'll be staying with Peter (another Peter), Rea, and their six-month old Ella in their beautiful home in the small town of Demarest, NJ.

If you haven't noticed, a lot of my friends have baby daughters, and this trip has been very different for that reason. Everyone seems apologetic that they're not able to take me out for "fun" activities, but I'm actually enjoying the domestic experience. (Are you surprised?) And, yes, I've been cooking here, too...tonight was my "famous" Chicken Marsala.

Tomorrow I'll meet with more friends and hopefully see another baby daughter. But in order to spice up my blogs, I'll try to throw in some adventure, too. =)

There's something about the collegiate atmosphere on the East Coast that I love. As I stroll along on campuses between historic stone buildings, I feel a sense of inspiration. I imagine I'm one of those students walking deliberately to their classes...eager to learn and ready for the challenge. Today Deborah and I walked through Yale University to admire their buildings and see their campus. The inspiration this time was not as strong...probably because it was a Saturday, early in the semester. The students weren't walking to classes; instead they were dressed to play. But the last time I walked through Harvard, the inspiration was almost strong enough for me to walk into the admissions office and fill out an application right then and there. I wanted to be in the midst of all the genius brain activity.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I'm some brilliant scholar who could easily tough it through several semesters of grueling studies for a degree. It's the idea that I love...the sense of accomplishment that appeals to me. Whether or not I have the gumption or the intelligence is entirely another story.

But...who knows? I may find myself back on some campus again. This is a recent idea. My friend Sara offered a suggestion, and I'm seriously looking into it. Okay, well, this is coming from a woman who has a B.A., M.A., and a J.D. In other words, she really loves and passionately craves academia. I can't say that I do. In any case, we made plans to visit this other campus on Thursday. Sara received her M.A. from this school, and although she wouldn't recommend it to just anybody, she thought it might be something I should consider. If the historic stone buildings and collegiate atmosphere are enough to inspire me, I'll probably walk into the admissions office and walk out with an application. This is still a new idea, so...we'll see. =)

The highlight of my day yesterday was making Amanda laugh. Her parents said she’s never laughed so much before. “Damn, I’m good!” I thought to myself. =P

Besides the 11th, I haven’t gone into the city at all. I have barely stepped out of this apartment. After telling a friend of mine what I have been doing here in New York, she replies, “So you’re not doing anything different out there.”

“Nope. I’m just in a different location, and I’m cooking for different people.”

And that’s really okay. It’s what I wanted to do this time around.

This time around, I’m also looking at NY with a different perspective…with the perspective of returning here in about a year. I’m noticing just how different it is and realizing how much I’m going to give up by leaving California. California really has become home for me.

Tonight I’ll be meeting friends for dinner in the city, and tomorrow, I’ll be spending most of the day in Manhattan. Before I leave NYC, I still want to enjoy a NY bagel and NY pizza, visit Ground Zero, and maybe stop by Payard and H&M. I’m still trying to figure out a way to bring back a dozen bagels, a whole pizza, a box of Payard truffles, and a cheesecake from Ferrara. A few selections of NY wine would be great too. Can I fit that all as a carry-on?

I’ll be spending time with Deborah and her husband in Connecticut over the weekend. Next week I’ll most likely spend the entire week in NJ. Peter and Jenny are going to give me the grand tour to try to win me over to the other side of the GW Bridge. I’ll try to keep an open mind.

I’m still searching for a way to get back in time for the funeral, but as the possibility grows dim, my friends here are asking me to stay a couple of days longer. They insist I stay for the fishing expedition. I’m not really sure. What am I to do? =\

The maddening cycle of life and death…

My friend’s sister passed away yesterday. She’s been sick for a long time, and they have struggled with watching her so close to death so many times before…the uncertainty of not knowing when her time would up. Now the struggle and uncertainty have been replaced with a clear loss and a definite sadness.

They’ll be having a service for her on the morning of Thursday, September 26. I’ve been looking into returning early from my trip, but unfortunately, I have obligations which require me to stay until Wednesday evening. So far I haven’t been able to find a flight which will leave late enough on Wednesday or early enough on Thursday to make it to CA on time. I’ll keep looking until I have exhausted the possibilities.

If I can’t make it, maybe I’ll send lavender flowers. They were her favorite.

All of Saturday afternoon was devoted to getting things ready for Amanda's party. Sara and I were busy in the kitchen...chopping, preparing, marinating, mixing, frying, baking, heating, rolling and lots more chopping. The lack of adequate kitchen supplies left us scurrying around and making frequent trips to pick up items from other homes. The time of the party was drawing near.

The appetizers were laid out beautifully in the living room. People began to arrive in a slow trickle and then in a sudden mass. The house was at full capacity. The appetizers vanished and soon we announced dinner. All the while, Sara and I were scurrying around the hot, stuffy kitchen. We had not had a moment of rest, but as soon as a particular guest arrived, Sara and Laura kept insisting I change my clothes, freshen up, and...mingle...

That was the last thing I wanted to think about...I could feel myself starting to get uncomfortable. All I wanted was an ice-cold beer and a nice warm shower, but neither were available at the moment. I eventually changed into different clothes, grabbed a plate of food, and sat in the room with the crowd of people, but I also managed to stay busy helping out with whatever I could. It was an easy excuse. Laura caught onto it and invited me to join her and two other people in purchasing some drinks (of the alcoholic kind) right after dinner.

So there we were...me, Laura, Bachelor #2, and some other guy who (unbeknownst to me) is apparently aware of the set-up situation. He is a positive addition, however, since he brought an element of comedic relief to an otherwise awkward situation. We stop by the wine shop first where we small talk about wine and about gin. I grab two whites I know people will like. I ask Bachelor #2 to pick the red and the champagne. He insists on purchasing.

Our next stop is the grocery store where we purchase the beer and ice. After we pick our selection of beers, we head over to the produce aisle to pick some limes. My phone rings. It's Lauren on her cell phone. "Hey, Lauren!" I say as I answer the phone.

"HEY!!! HOW ARE THINGS WITH (insert Bachelor #2's name) GOING?!?!" she yells enthusiastically into my ear.

I was mortified, but luckily I have my back to the others. I frantically turn down the volume on my phone, afraid Lauren's voice has been heard by the others. I clear my throat loudly, and Lauren realizes I am in his company. I tell her I'd call her back.

On the ride back, Bachelor #2 mentions to Laura that John hasn't gotten back to him about a particular fishing trip. Before I know it, Laura has managed to include me and herself into joining them on their fishing expedition. It happened so quickly. I'm left dumfounded and speechless for a moment. I tell her later after I find out the details of the trip that I will have left town the day before. She asks me to fly out on a later day. She wants me to stay until October. Should I emphasize to her that I nearly hurled on my last fishing expedition?

The evening ends with the beers and champagne. I keep busy again, this time cleaning up the kitchen. The night is soon over. Everyone leaves. We say good-bye.

What was my impression? I told Laura I'm not sure if I have one. She's hyped him up so much, it's a bit hard to know what I think. He was kind and acted like a gentleman. He wasn't like some whimp who freaks out and scampers away...some of you know what I'm talking about. So, that's cool.

And that's all for now. =)

"Hey, I hear Laura is trying to set you up with someone who's going to be at Amanda's party on Saturday," Sara says to me while we drive around town.

"Oh, no! Bachelor #2 is going to be there," I think to myself. "Oh, yeah..." I say to Sara in reply.

Later that day when I see Laura, I don't have to bring it up. She eagerly mentions how happy she is that Bachelor #2 is going to be at the party. I don't seem quite so enthused, and a bit later she apologizes for making WAY too big a deal about the whole thing. Now she's afraid I'm not going to act like myself around him. I promise I would try to be nice and not act all weirded out. Easier said than done.

He doesn't know I'm going to be there. Maybe I can pretend to be someone else? Or does he remember who I am?

Stay tuned for the next episode of the unwieldy wumanjoo!

Today is a new day. We're gearing up to celebrate little Amanda's 100th day. Both John and Laura's family will be going out for dinner tonight to commemorate the event. On Saturday we'll be having a much larger event for both family and friends.

Yesterday Sara and I went to purchase Amanda's little hanbok (traditional Korean clothing) for the celebration. We bought the cutest pink and green hanbok; Amanda will be an absolute princess. I saw Amanda for the first time yesterday. She's absolutely beautiful. Constantly moving her arms and legs. Chattering away in baby gibberish. I had teased John and Laura before they were expecting a child...I had told them that they'll probably give birth to a child who's active and social. I told the homebodies that was the only way they'd be forced out of the house. Laura says it's true already.

It's weird...in some pictures Amanda looks Asian, but in other pictures she looks completely Caucasian. But for the most part, she seems to resemble her father...maybe because she's so fair-skinned with light hair and blue-ish eyes. It looks like she'll be a real Daddy's girl...just like me, so that's cool. =)

The plane landed safely at 6:05 a.m. EST on 9/11/02. I shed a tear thinking about how thousands of people were not so lucky last year.

I was hungry, and because of miscommunication, Sara was late picking me up...she had gone to the wrong airport. There happened to be a food vendor outside, so I figured I could finally have myself a NY bagel with schmear. Unfortunately, the bagel tasted like the plastic it was wrapped in, and instead of the schmear I was looking for...the brick of cream cheese which is a must for NY bagels...it was a sloppy pat of butter. Oh, well.

I had my friend Sara take me directly to a subway stop so I could make it somewhere near Ground Zero before the first moment of silence at 8:46 a.m. The subway ride was very quiet. No one said a word. Maybe it is always like that during the morning commute, but the silence seemed more pronounced that morning. We arrived at Chambers St, one stop before what would have been the World Trade Center. A few dozen of us made our way up out of the subway tunnels to find thousands of people standing off to the sides. They had blocked pedestrians from getting any closer to the site. Only family, firefighters, police, and others involved in that day's event were allowed to enter. It was frustrating not really being able to see anything, but I listened to as much as I could.

The bagpipes played Amazing Grace at about 8:30 a.m. The first moment of silence was announced. Some international tourists obviously did not get that information. They kept chattering, looking over their maps. I was annoyed.

I moved to the other side of the street, mainly to get away from the uninformed tourists but also to see if I could get a different view. I suddenly realized how exhausted I was, but I stood there waiting as they read through the list of victims. I wanted to hear Andy's name. Finally, just after 10 a.m., after the third moment of silence, I heard a faint, muffled voice utter what sounded like "Andrew J. Kim".

I was getting hungry again, but I decided to walk around some more...walked past St. Paul's. It's the oldest church in the city, to my understanding. They displayed a huge picture of what the church looked like that day as the towers were crashing a short distance behind the church. The picture looked like the end of the world.

There were tons of people around, and LOTS of journalists and photographers. I watched the photographers as they faced the crowd of people, looking for an anguished face to put onto film. That seemed strange to me, too.

There was also a host of people handing out materials...mostly religious in nature. Plenty of people actually went up and waited to take the materials. It's a site I'm not accustomed to seeing. One man, however, had the audacity to hand out an advertisement for his printing business. That didn't make sense to me. But the Salvation Army was there, and I have to say, they impressed me the most. They didn't hand out any information. Instead, they handed out chewy granola bars. They said it was to give us nourishment. I expressed appreciation and gladly took the granola bar...but I went looking for pizza anyway.

After eating a slice of eggplant pizza (Don't criticize unless you've tried it in NYC), it was time to head back. My body was tired from the long sleepless plane ride and all the morning activity. I had come to honor the memory of the victims, and now I was ready to rest.

In a few hours, I will be boarding a plane headed for New York. The flight is a red-eye, and we'll be landing at about six in the morning, just in time for me to de-board and hopefully make it somewhere around Ground Zero before 8:46 a.m.

When I first planned this trip a few weeks ago, I had thought I would rather be in New York than CA on 9/11, but the other day, I started wondering if the trip might be too emotional... I had read an article two nights ago about seven women who worked at the World Trade Center. Three survived. Four didn't. After reading the article, I didn't sleep so well. It brought back a lot of the memories of agony and despair...

Instead of dwelling on the horror, however, I would much rather remember and honor the lives of those who perished that day. I've been watching this video for the past few days. It's good to remember Andy.

I expect to blog while I'm away, so I'll fill you in when I can.

WAHHHH!!! It's still there! I went into my room to get something, and since I hadn't made my bed after running out of my room this morning, i lifted up my bundled covers...and there it was!!! It's HUGE...and gross and brown. I screamed. It ran back towards the corner.

Why does it like my bed so much? Is it LAYING EGGS??!!?? Is it pooping in my room? NASTY!

Great! I gotta get rid of this thing, or else there is no way I'm going to be able to sleep in my room. WAHHHHH!!!

On Wednesday, Lauren and I spent the whole day with Jenny at Disney's California Adventure and Disneyland. On Thursday, we spent the whole day helping Hannah move, down a flight of stairs and up a flight of stairs. Needless to say, I was exhausted last night.

This morning, my alarm went off at 8 a.m. I attempted to arouse Hannah from sleep so she wouldn't be late to work. (She had crashed on the futon in my room since the paint fumes hadn't fully dissipated in her new apartment.) I hit the snooze button. I was definitely not ready to get up yet.

And then...as I was trying to fall back to sleep...I felt something slither across my right leg. I immediately sat up and threw the covers off, shoving them to the foot of the bed. "Oh, my God! What the HELL was that??"

My mind flashed back to last summer when Lauren woke up from an afternoon nap with a lizard on her arm. "Oh, gross! Gross! Sick! Sick!" I had a feeling the little critter was still entangled within the covers on my bed, so I started slowly shaking my blanket out. Sure enough, there it was. I yelped, and tossed my blanket, throwing the lizard onto the floor. It scurried away into the corner.

My yelp is what woke Hannah up. "I'm so disturbed!" I said as I explained what happened to Hannah. It didn't seem to bother her as much. She immediately went back to sleep.

The thought of having slept with a lizard last night was disturbing; the thought of it crawling on my leg was too much. I left my room and crashed on the couch.

I never want to see another lizard again.

It was late on Saturday night. The evening had had its amusements...a game of Spoons (which I lost big-time), Taboo, and plenty of Daniel's antics. Daniel finally tired of us, and Hanna, Jenny, and I were the only ones left. Technically, it was early Sunday morning, about 2 a.m. We were getting sillier by the minute.

We resumed an earlier conversation about the Joe Boxer guy and decided to see if there was an online fan club for the enthusiastic man dancing in his underwear. We figured he had to have one. He, in fact, has his own website.

I know, I know...the things ladies do when the last man has left the room. I cannot, however, divulge everything. Some things must remain secret. =P

On our way home yesterday, Susan and I noticed the tremendous spectacle beyond us to the north. A roaring fire in the Angeles forest had caused an army of smoke to rise into the air. The smoke clashed with the clouds in the sky. It appeared as if the acres of smoke and the billowy clouds were in battle, pushing against each other to form a visible wall in the sky. I kept staring at it as we moved towards the direction of the fire on our way home.

I wonder which side won.